Entry 3- losing my mind

As an honours student in UBC losing your mind and extreme stress is a normal part of your life.

Unfortunately, it does leave any space for sickness. Currently, I have my chronic pain, my menstrual cramps, runny nose and a sore throat. It is all sun shine up in my house!

To make matters worse, it was snowing today... :( I love the snow.. But my condition makes it really hard to enjoy this cold weather because it makes my body go into a crazyyyyyy roller coaster ride of pain, inflammation and more pain.

The thing that i hate more than everything though, is not having control. I hate that my sickness makes me lose control of life. I hate that it makes it hard to catch up on school or to do well on exams. Every time I make a plan, my body decides to be unpredictable. Sometimes it's takes me hours and hours to do a reading that takes a normal person just 10 minutes. 

It's not very surprising though because cognition and mobility are very much related. For example, have you ever walked into a tree ( or any other item) because you were distracted by your phone? I have. That is because walking or movement requires cognitive effort. So when you tax your cognition by trying to find the damn restaurant on google maps using your iPhone, your mobility suffers. Although this doesn't really explain much regarding my situation which is the exact oposite. My mobility issues and cognitive decline happened around the same time. But I wouldn't be surprised if there was a relationship between the two. I doubt anyone has actually looked at fibromyalgia and what is known as the fibro fog ( basically being forgetfull and etc). 

Obviously, my cognitive decline could be a result of 100 pain killers that I am on or the lack of sleep because of my constant pain or any other third variable. But I don't know, there is something about movement or exercise that seems essential to me. Now doesn't that suck!

I've noticed my walking has been really effected in the past few months. I am more and more doing my penguin walk rather than my usual confident steps ;). At least penguins are cute, right? So that makes me cute.  My logic is flawless! :P

Yup, lame jokes are how you survive these really shitty days.